Things have come to a pretty pass Our romance is growing flat For you like this and the other While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be Oh, I don't know where I'm at. It’s plain to see we two will never make one Something must be done
You say “eeether,” I say “ei-ther” You say “neeether” and I say “nei-ther” “eeether,” “ei-ther,” “neeether,” “nei-ther” Let's call the whole thing off!
You like “po-ta-to” and I like “po-tah-to” You like “to-ma-to” and I like “to-mah-to” “po-ta-to,” “po-tah-to,” “to-ma-to,” “to-mah-to” Oh, let's call the whole thing off!
But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must part And oh, if we ever part Then that might break my heart
So if you like “py-ja-mas” and I like “py-jah-mas” I'll wear “py-ja-mas” and give up “py-jah-mas” For we know, we need each other So we better call the calling off, off Oh, let's call the whole thing off!
You say “laugh-ter” and I say “larf-ter” You say “af-ter” and I say “arf-ter” “laugh-ter,” “larf-ter,” “af-ter,” “arf-ter” Let's call the whole thing off!
You like “Ha-va-na” and I like “Ha-vah-nah” You eat “Ba-na-na” and I eat “ba-nah-nah” “Ha-va-na,” “Ha-vah-nah,” “Ba-na-na,” “ba-nah-nah” Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must part And, oh, if we ever part Then that might break my heart
So, you like “oy-sters” and I like “er-sters” I'll take “oy-sters” and give up “er-sters” For we know, we need each other So we better call the calling off, off Oh, let's call the whole thing off!